Lei and I met at the William Esper Studio about two years ago. She, a first year, and myself, a second year, were paired together on the first day of Movement Class with the sole instruction: To find a place of comfort and repeat the word “you,” back and forth. A bit scary? I think so.
By the time the teacher ended the exercise, there was no doubt in my mind that this young woman was both a strong and sweet soul— something that makes for a powerful artist. For one year, with fourteen other students, Lei and I experienced an incredible journey in that class, and found a true blue friendship and artistic camaraderie that I truly believe is for life.
Flash forward to the pandemic: Lei and I kept in touch (naturally) and found any way possible to continue to work on our craft. With the theatres closed, many discussions were had— many revolving around how this was the time for art— and so, it came as no surprise when she announced to me that she had plans to make her own short film. And, when asked to direct, I of course jumped on board.
A first generation Filipino-American, Lei wanted to delve into her heritage and explore this area of her life. Her film, Witness to a Devouring Monster, takes three journal excerpts of writer Anais Nin, and re-imagines them as unique Filipino characters in three different settings of magical realism. And on top of that, it’s more than solely an exploration of heritage and culture; Lei’s film speaks to the female collective. It’s a fearless dive into the film industry where inclusive material is well needed, wanted, and valued.
I couldn’t wait to ask her more about the film and her process. Witness to a Devouring Monster is scheduled to film this month.
MF
Do you remember the first time you read Anais Nin? What led you to her work?
LEI
The first time I read Anais Nin was in college, but I didn’t know it was her at the time.
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another.” That quote helped growing and learning feel more bearable. Growing up is tough.
MF
Can you tell me a little bit about Anais Nin for those who might not already know? Who was she, and why were her contributions important?
LEI
Anais Nin was a French-Cuban writer who lived during the 20th Century. She’s mesmerizing. She wrote essays and short stories, but she was most famous for her diaries and her erotica. She was such a bad ass independant thinker that was appreciated more so during the feminist movement of the 60’s. But her political influence isn’t even what’s so epic about her. It’s her style.
MF
What about her work drew you further in?
LEI
I feel like whenever I read anything written by her, I not only hear it but I can see it. Her words paint pictures in my head. She is vivid, visceral, direct, and brave. When I read her, she sounds like how I imagine freedom could be for me one day. Even if I don’t always agree with what she writes, just the way she’s said something makes me go
“Wow, she just said that.” It’s exciting.
MF
How did you go about selecting these three specific journal excerpts for your project?
LEI
This project actually started off as nine different excerpts with continuity between them- an anthology film. It was supposed to flow as one story yet each vignette would be set in a different world. It was going to be a really interesting composition. However, I just didn’t have the resources to execute that large of a project without sacrificing the visual message. So I picked the 3 that I thought were strongest in terms of content and creative spark that I experienced creating these worlds. It’s an anthology film, just shorter. A triptych.
MF
Can you tell me a little about each of these three pieces and how they are characterized?
LEI
The first is Awakener: It’s set in the Philippines right when Spanish colonial rule ends and American occupation begins. So there is this sense of disappointment/crushed hope. Ana, an indigenous person, is dropped in this world and has been met with discrimination, racism, abuse by foreigners in her country. She doesn’t stand for it at all and in a searing declaration of self-love, she holds a mirror up to the ugly face of colonization. She’s powerful.
Second is Two Women: This is about fetishization. Most people talk about fetishization like it’s a joke but from my experience it’s very hurtful. It’s hurtful being reduced to nothing but a skin tone or an ethnicity or a race. It’s also about the large grey area on the spectrum between rape and consensual sex. These are topics I haven’t seen much depiction in film but topics I know many have experienced. Xenia, the character in two women, is very smart--clever. She’s clever enough to know that her world is not a good place and in order to survive she must provide what’s in demand, no matter if she likes it or not.
Third is Magindara: This piece is like a fairytale. It’s about trauma and healing and womanhood. It’s about all the things that amount to wisdom in your life. We see Magan in a memory of herself. She is clearly suffering physically and emotionally. At first we are afraid and filled with compassion, but as Magan continues to share her wisdom, she teaches us how understanding that pain has transformed her into a creature of stunning enlightenment. At the end of this piece is also my favorite little surprise. I will say no more about that!
MF
You’ve talked to me a lot about your heritage and how it plays a big part in this project. What do you hope this film will accomplish or address?
LEI
This film is as much a learning experience for me as it is for my crew who are diligently researching accurate portrayals of culture. I’m a Filipino-American, first generation. I’ve always known it, but I never felt inspired to really understand where I came from and the history behind the Philippines. A big part is shame-- I think that’s normal for most people of color growing up in predominantly white spaces. I felt very ashamed to be Filipino for a number of reasons. Reasons involving colonization, American-Philippine relationship, access to information, and community support.
With this project, I knew I sort of had to shove my face into the happenings of the Filipino Diaspora, even though it made me uncomfortable. But it’s important. It’s important to know yourself and your roots. I realized that I was being very unfair--that I was victim-blaming the Philippines, myself, my family, my parents. There’s more compassion in my heart because of this project. I think that’s a pretty awesome accomplishment. Perhaps a larger one would be compassion in MANY people’s hearts!
MF
What do you hope viewers will take away from the film?
LEI
That it is possible to imagine strong, interesting, complex roles for brown women. And for this film specifically, for brown Asian women. We don’t have to be the best friend or the maid or the foreigner. There is an entire cultural terrain of untapped stories that are meant for us. I’m just planting seeds of visibility and representation where I can and hopefully it will encourage other artists to create beyond what they normally see in entertainment and film.
MF
Do you have any specific plans with the film once it is completed?
LEI
Oh yes! We have a marketing and distribution plan in the works. Streaming networks. Film festivals as well. There are tons of Festivals out there that aim to amplify diverse voices in film, we just need to do more research on those. But right now my team is very focused on production right now and enjoying the process of creating. I actually hope that I can continue to grow the project into the longer form that I intended it to be when I wrote it. Or perhaps write continuations of the stories we’ve already introduced.
MF
How do you feel your experience at the William Esper Studio and the Meisner Technique prepared you to create this project?
LEI
William Esper Studio is everything to me. Where do I even start? I was so afraid to call myself an artist in part because I had so much respect for craft but also because I was afraid I didn’t actually have anything in me. But Esper taught me to trust myself, to listen to my body, to be less apologetic for existing, to understand that anything that comes out of me, with guidance of technique, could be transformed into art. After that, it was all just working hard to remind myself of that. Shoutout to Bruce McCarty for being my acting teacher and speaking a language that made sense to me.
MF
Your top three favorite films:
LEI
Such a hard question! I’ll throw out 3 that I really love in no particular order: Howl’s Moving Castle, Jojo Rabbit. Me and Earl and The Dying Girl.
MF
Favorite piece of visual art:
